Afternoon walk,cars,letters, and the decline of the English language

Have you ever gone for a walk and felt as if one leg was shorter than the other, or longer depending on how you look at it. It's creepy and I can't stand it. Did I just write a pun? They say that the use of puns is a sign of wit and intelligence but my best guess is that this analogy only applies when you write or say them with intention. My pun on the other hand would more than likely indicate the opposite. Still walking... Omg who the hell wears a bra on their car still? Apparently that dude in the old cavalier. That style has past and some would beg to differ if it ever was what one would consider style. Lol Home now perusing the letters my son received from school. One is a notification that there has been an outbreak of head lice, as every year. How many words can one chick conjure up to describe her revolt. Puke! I checked his head and we are in the clear and I hope it stays that way. The other note is titled "Ask me about". The purpose of this letter is to give parents an idea of what your child/children are in the process of learning in class. I think this is a great idea and is a good way to start conversation with your child about what is going on all day. First part gives a brief out line on math, glad to see it at the top of the list. Second is language arts and I have to talk about this one for a second. Let's begin...this small blurb/ summary of what they are doing in language arts has multiple spelling errors, poor punctuation and the grammar used is awful. It's like it was written in a foreign language and translated by google. These are the people I send my kid to spend his days with in order to get an education. I know, I know, I'm one to talk but I'm a crazy quick writer and my emails, blogs and random posting are not my source of income nor do I claim to be an expert. On that note I do have what I think is a reasonable expectation of the teaching staff at my sons school that they are having a hard time living up to. They should Preach what they teach and it's fair to say I should too. I need a book on English punctuation and grammar and I have a needy school in mind that could and should put it to good use when I'm done with it.

Rotten kids don't change

My son Zachary likes to be the last in line that way he gets to wave as he goes in. Well some of the other kids have caught on to what he was doing now and the grade 2 gladiator show down begins daily at 8:25 sharp. Zach is the last guy in the world to touch or push someone for something so stupid that is why it so darn funny to watch.
They push and bug and complain but Zach completely ignores them and walks to the back all calm and cool. Why would these kids even want to be at the end of a line, to wave to me? I wonder if these parents even know what kind of child they are raising. I hate to be rude but your kid is shitty and I wish I could drop kick em'. Lol recently a little thief was discovered in class for taking a kids zhu zhu pet and hiding it in her school bag. You would think at some point in the girls life her parents would have gone over the fact that you shouldn't steal other peoples belongings, sadly it is apparent that this is not the case. I asked my boy if he would take someone's things and he looked at me like I had a thousand heads,like what a preposterous idea. For all my crappy parenting mistakes(and I'll be honest I've made many) at least I got a few things right. Stay calm when others are pushy(choose your battles wisely) don't hurt or attempt to hurt someone else when they are rude and above all don't steal!
These ones are easy people but then again we need kids like yours, I mean who else is going to ask Zach if he'd like fries with that? Lmao

Your kids future

No more tears

 I shampooed my eye.
I have had more horrendous things in my eye than I care to admit but Oh my gosh TRESemmé is like sulfuric acid poured stright into your tear ducts.
Do the ones you love a favor and don't say "Hey look" when they are washing thier hair.
So what I'm trying to say is that I highly recommend it to be avoided at all cost! Not that I think people would purposely squirt themselves directly in the eyeball for kicks but just saying.
That stuff is poison for ones optical organ.

Like a kite that flies without a string, too quickly finds the ground.
-Libby

Cheap toilet seat (Beware)!!!

Word to the wise/Libby's two cents... Never, I repeat,never buy a cheap replacement toilet seat! If you are in the kitchen just trying to finish washing that last pot out and you need to pee really bad...this could equal trouble! Just picture this...you hastily dry your hands on your jeans as you scoot down the hall, tear into the bathroom and not bothering to flick on the lights.You drop your pants faster that you can say sweet Fu@k then"boom goes the dynamite" you are on you ass wailing in pain and covered in your own pee! Fellow housemates hear your shrieks of agony and yet all you can do is close the door with your foot. You could use the help but your need to attempt to hide total humiliation is stronger. So, moral of the story is...spend that extra $20 and you will not be sore,wet and embarrassed on the bathroom floor in the dark. Not that I would know... Just saying;) fuc%@#g cheap plastic brackets!!!!!!
Libby

Kraft dinner the most versatile food in the world! Brain child of Sis and I

Da po boi KD -
Tap water, no milk, eat over kitchen sink


Mediterranean -
Substitute butter with olive oil, yummy.


Tomorrow's pay day
Stale remainders of yesterdays supper.
Scrape off the top crunchy layer, heat and serve.


Cajun KD -
Took a nap burnt half of the noodles to the bottom of the pot.


Italian KD -
Add ketchup packets you yoinked from Wendy's


Greek KD -
Add half a jar of questionable olives from the back of the fridge from when you used to pretend to like martinis.


Old cuisine KD -
Serve in small portions, like martini glasses you never use.
Decorate with clovers from the front lawn and call it canadian parsley, no one eats the green shit anyway.


Companies coming KD -
Stir in cheese wizz, it adds flavour and personality.


Mexican KD -
Mix with salsa and serve with nacho chips.
Great for when all your forks are dirty.


The break-up KD -
Add tears with just a dash of resentment, follow with a pint of Häagen-Dazs ice-cream. If he thought your ass was fat.
"You'll show him"!


Movie night KD -
50% KD 50% popcorn, mix well and voilà.


Blackout (I swear I paid that bill) KD -
Requires prep time, soak till noodles are soft or jump the fence of your vacationing neighbour and use BBQ.
Worst case scenario get mom's old coleman stove, where there is kd and will there is a way.


New york KD -
Add hot dog you found in neighbours bbq.


Fisherman's platter KD -
Add tuna, you can obtain this ingredient for free from office fridge.
You should find it in a brown paper bag marked with the words "Do not eat" Dorothy's.
Take it anyway, who are we kidding here Dorothy could stand to lose a few pounds.


The It's still good, it's still good KD -
Kd after expiry date, ya I know I didn't know it had one either!

Cough,cough,sniff,sniff...huh???

Why do apparently sanitation and hygiene requirements suddenly go out the window when your child leaves preschool and begins to attend public schooling.

If frequent bouts of head lice,impetigo, flew,general un-wellness and not to mention injuries were to occur while attending a private preschool and or daycare, parents would and do demand explanations.
Daycares and preschools in the local hrm have had licences revoked for less then what we willingly excepting from our public schools. Have we apparently forgotten we pay for this service with our valuable tax dollars?
I am always perplexed by this sad but often true fact, when things are free(or seemingly free) our level of expectation drops instantly and drastically.
For instance, when is the last time you have visited the doctors office and felt as if you were being hurried out the door without the slightest concern that you may or may not have finished what it is you have come to discuss in the first place? No doubt more often than not...If we were paying with our debit or master card as we left something tells me the experience we demand would be rather different and yes we would be using the full 15 min. our msi normally pays for. No I am not picking away at the wonderful health care so many of us Canadians have always know and have come to be proud of, it's the social dynamic of the situation that occurs when msi or the Government pays directly for us. Off topic...now back on it. If you paid by cheque would things be different? Would you hold on to your $6000 for the 175-195 days of public school with sweaty palms a little tighter before agreeing to pay if your child was frequently ill while attending? On that note I guess we shouldn't be to surprised due to the fact that they claim to be the best way to educate our children even though statistics point to the contrary. For most families the notion for home schooling is almost appalling and scary not to mention financially impossible. Most discussions with regards to educating from home would begin with the fact that your child will become socially backwards and or incapable of proper interaction with others in the future. So by that I would assume they believe abuse,intimidation, poor behaviour and language, survival in an all too frequent hostile environment is a requirement or right of passage to adult hood.
Ridiculous, after all our true goal is to raise our children to be smart independent full functioning adults not daycare, is it not? They can do that with out those notorious sticks, stones and names that most defiantly hurt them. Word to the wise, also constant bombardment of communicable viruses and infections does not make for a healthier immune system in a child, quite the polar opposite. I assume that same person would foolishly believe that the old wives tale of getting cold and wet gives you a cold or leaves you susceptible to one. Maybe it's time to demand those full 15 min provided by your doctor/msi/tax dollars and ask a few questions next time!
Loves and hugs Libby
PS. Wash your hands

I am not a PRUDE!

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Teachers are so strange

So...I wait by the tree to pick my son up after school but today it was seeming like it was taking a tad bit longer then usual. I walk up towards the school to find that teacher has Zach and is waiting to talk to me. I walk up only to be told that my son for the past couple days has not eaten a lot. Ok....ummm whatever teach...lol
I didn't say that but thought it. She was speaking as if there was some deep dark seedy reason as to why my son did not feel very hungry thursday and today.
(Well teach that's because I punch him in the jaw every morning as hard as I can so next time he'll know better than to talk back to me.) hahahahaha
Funny teachers don't feel they must approach and discuss things with you face to face when one of the teachers has accidently injured your child and caused a nasty scar all down his chest but hey this kid didn't eat his yogurt two days in a row....call the rcmp and contact the parents this offence must be stopped!!!!!
I appreciate the concern but next time you may want to bare in mind the fact that you seem like a moron for asking me why my kid didn't eat much today when you were the adult there.
Loves and kisses Libby the %#$@*&

Hang in there

Have you ever felt like you were all alone?
Have you ever felt like no one has the same battles in life as you do?
Have you ever felt like you were helpless to stop things?
Have you ever felt afraid of the consequences?
Have you ever felt like you may need help?
Me too, my cat loves tape and is always trying to eat it. :O
You are not alone!

For someone

There comes a time in your life when you realize that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You realize that if you fall and stay down life will pass you by. Life's circumstances are not always what you might wish them to be. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you planned. Beyond any understanding, you may at times be led in different directions that you never imagined, dreamed, or designed. Yet if you had never put any effort into choosing a path, or tried to carry out your dream then perhaps you would have no direction at all.

Last nights fun at the I.W.K. hospital

9:15-11:18 at the Iwk. Time for stitches for Zachary again. I guess I should just be glad we had such a long stretch since the last time. This time it is the top of his head, sad part is that we had no clue. Now this is the moment that you wonder, ummm Libby how the hell do you miss a gash on your kids head? Well the answer is the kid has a lot of dark hair and we were busy shooting him with the nerfblaster. WHAT???? don't judge he was fine I know that because when I told him to get back up and run cause a moving target is more fun to shoot at, he did. Ok,all kidding aside. He fell bumped his head and we checked but didn't see it right away. He is fine. He is passed out on the little sofa now and I think it may be fully healed before we even see a doctor. I wouldn't normally complain about it if the whole waiting room wasn't full with under age girls that appear to be here to get a pregnancy test with their buddies. I heard one woman complain about waiting because her 4 year old had a temp. Of 102...(really). Wow I'm a first time mom who didn't notice missing chunks of scalp and I'm brighter than that. Guess that ladies mother missed her head injury all together. Well at least I have stories to write about. Another woman gave me plenty of entertainment when she asked her friend who she was voting for... Then she proceeded to inform her that whatever she does don't vote for "Mcnaddyif", you think your broke now...sigh...then she continued to complain about the wait time in the emergency room.(how many things are wrong with this picture)? Hahahaha and apparently the leader of the liberal party is also currently available on the McDonalds menu. Hi there, I'd like a double McNaddyif with cheese, large fries and a med sprite please.

12:03 and still waiting. One little fella has the flu, alone with daddy and dad needs a break so badly. Boy I don't miss those days. Heads up everyone if ever you feel that little unknown twinge in the pit of you stomach to have another child... Hang out in children's emerge for 3 or 4 hours and without even seeing a doctor your mild case of hysteria will be cured I promise.
Eww,eww,eww, some mom isn't watching her 2 year old very well I caught the little girl in the corner of my eye sucking up the last few drops of pepsi from numerous cans left from patients past. I think I'm going to vomit. Mom clearly didn't speak english and when I went to turn and speak to her she gave me a dirty look and checked to make sure her hair was neatly tucked in her ridiculous head scarf...Sorry kid, Darwin's theory still working it's magic, hope things work out for you.
What is it about waiting rooms that make people loose their mind?
A kid was clearly in pain with what turned out to be a fracture in her wrist ( saw a drawing in the room on a white board). Good that doctor didn't want to be an artist...but I could figure it out...lol Anyway she was pacing and angry cause her kid was congested. I wanted to punch her in the nose and say "Hey woman sit the hell down, that lady has a kid with a broken wrist and I have a son who is bleeding internally, don't hear us complaining"! LMAO
Wahoo 12:51 on my way home... The triage nurse said she thought we went home...WTH? I'm not even going to think about it nor write about it...I'm just glad to be on my way home. Zachary slept through the stitches...They were asking him to wake up and Zachary didn't open his eyes. The nurse stopped for a second and I could see something odd on her face. I said loudly...Zachary want some ice-cream. Bing up come the eyelids. That's my boy!
Really if the chance of brain injury was something that may even be a minuet possibility do you really think I would have spent the eve there watching family guy on my iphone and laughing my ass off?
Nite folks
Oh the many pleasures of raising a son with the attention span of a flea and a bad left eye that leads to zero depth perception...Good times, Good times!!!

Forgiveness is futile

I'd much rather spend my empty moments contemplating politics and the state of the world than have to pay attention to the complicated voting process going on in the darkest corners of my mind. If my inner turmoil was to show it's seedy face, others would be scared into insanity. If the one I truly love was to know what I did for him, the sadness I spared him, I know he'd forgive but I have to carry the curse of knowledge alone. The secret dies with me , my apple is hidden well. Best to drowned in your pasts resentment than to swim in their tears. My life will be too short to finish. Best we never started.

Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love.

Wedding Vows

How long till the commitment to raise our children is as disposable as our wedding vows?The moment shame dissipated was the moment it was ok...Orphanages, heads up, get ready for the big 2045 boom!

Today at the mall...

While sitting in the Mall parking lot for about ten minutes, I managed to see two women put on make up and some guy stare at his reflection incessantly before heading in. Why do people feel it necessary get dressed up just to go to the freaking mall? Makes no sense to me. Now as for me I was just wearing pjs and a pony tail while sitting in the car waiting for David to hurry his ass up. I wanted to stage a protest and walk in there and say to every passer by that looked like they spent an hour picking out an outfit... "I'm wearing pjs cause they are soft and comfortable, I guess this means you are better than me, huh?".. F-you all...fight the power-rock your softies in public! But instead I peed in a disposable coffee cup and poured it outside my door. Mr. Fancy who liked looking at the mirror should have taken the time to get his nose out of the air and watched where he was walking. He got out and was compelled to look at his hair one more time in the side view mirror of his car before heading in to the mall. You guessed it, that's right, and all that while he stood in my pee. Karma is a bitch Mr. Fancy man, my pee is on your shoes!

Agnostic vs. Faith?

You've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something, I've got the gift of good-bye.
I believe in good-bye and It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever is meant to be will be in the end.
All the curtains will open at one point and the truth will be standing there,good or bad.
That is where my faith lives...

Ode to my fridge

Oh mighty fridge so big and cold,
I'm sorry that you got so old.
You used to chill my old spaghetti.
and for this we won't forghetti.
They are going to take you to the dump,
all because that stupid pump.
You're garbage now (on this I'd bank)
So many years, for this we thank.

Bye-bye fridge...

X-Mas dinner speech

I'm not the speechie type, but I'm going to try.
It dawned on me earlier that this is the first Christmas if ever that we've all been together like this without uncertainty.
Unless however you want to consider my frequent tendency to lean towards irrationality. (Vogue pose and stupid grin a-la-Libby)!
Nevertheless... I have something I'd like to say.

The common thing to say is that this past year has been full of great memories to cherish for a life time.
Speaking on behalf of everyone here, that's a big load of Sh*t.
We've all had more than our fair share of heartache, stress, and to put it simply, misery.
But as the old story goes on Dec.24th. a star shone big and bright in the sky, many feared it and hid but a hand full of people found
a stinky camel and charged towards it, and found there was nothing to fear at all.
Sis...(I'd be your stinky camel any day)!!!

There is a ton of stuff on my table and yet it has never looked so big!
I love everyone here and want to to tell you if we seem to have a sh*tty 2011 just try and remember today.
That way we'll all know at least we all started it well.
"AND WE ALL HAVE CAMELS"!


To everyone who wasn't at my table but should have been...it's for you too!
XO
Libby - Live long & prosper